I have meat and potato pie, with mushy peas covered in Worchester Sauce and Squirty Laughing Cow Cheese… Haute Cuisine don’t get much lower than this!
Oh dear, the mouldy bits don’t taste too good. I think the pie was old.
Meanwhile I thought somebody had stolen Neil this morning but he’d just slipped his noose and fallen to the floor of the Land Rover he is hanging in. Tomorrow I think, poor Neil will be stripped of his dignity and trussed. Poor thing!
I am starting to agree with Robin (the chappie who reduces food at my local Sainsburys) that the major difference between Tesco and Sainsburys normal foods and their Finest, or Taste The Difference ones is that the more expensive ones simply have less salt in them.
With half a tonne of salt added to it, Tesco Finest Moussaka may well start to taste of something – Unfortunately without it, it doesn’t. It’s as simple as that really. It’s a shame though; I was looking forward to it. Grumble.
Ah ha! Look what I found on the way home this morning. I have called him Neil. Isn’t he pretty.
I guess I will have to hang him for a few days and then decide what to do with him. Where is a copy of Hugh’s Meat Book when I need one!
So…
I have just had a message from the High Council of Master Bloggers and Online Mass Debating and I have been stripped of my title pending requalification. I was still in my probationary period and missing a day without prior notification broke the terms of this.
The High Council are not without heart, however, and have sent me a short exam. If I complete this and pass, I will recover my title and all that it entails.
I shall repeat the questions here, whilst I ponder on which one to do:
1) You must find a fully qualified Master Blogger to act as a mentor and have them send you an approved personality test. These comprise a series of questions such as “What is your favourite colour?”, “How well do you think you know me?” or “If I asked you, would you suck my toes even though I had athlete’s foot?” Firstly, these questions will require short and honest answers from you and secondly you must send your completed test to all of your friends and colleagues and get them to fill in the test and return it. The results of this personality survey must be posted in your Blog for all to see and comment on.
2) You must express an opinion on online security and freedom of speech as it effects you, the Master Blogger. You will be expected to talk at length about your right to complete privacy as you share your life with the world and how encryption on your IMs will protect you from the authorities. You will be expected to show the technical know how in how to do this, and explain the methods to other people. Finally, you should write a short political endpiece on how 1984 is upon us and how the governments of the world are more and more interested on spying on their own people and how your rights to free speech are being eroded more and more every day. The essay should end on a positive note about how you, as a Master Blogger are armed with the Internet Toolset to “Stick it to the Man” and a pledge to do so.
3) For this question you are required to search the journals of a number of other Master Bloggers and to pick out a number of pertinent online tests which you will then answer and place in your journal. Although this question may sound like an easy option, you will be judged mostly on the relevance of the tests to the style of your Blog. For example: If your Blog is an Emo Gothic affair concerned mostly with how terrible your life is then there is very little place for a test that shows that if you were a fruit you would be a Banana. On the other hand, a Blog concerned mostly with the latest in Slash Fiction may very well benefit from the addition of a “What Lord of the Rings Character are you?” test. To obtain full credits in this question you should also comment on the journals where you found the tests, discussing your score there as well as in your own Blog.
I have three weeks in which to complete one of these questions so I shall give it some thought. For obvious reasons I am rather drawn towards number 2.
I apologise for not making an entry on Sunday. I realise that this is simply not cricket but I was washing my hair. I am a cad, I am a bounder, I should be stripped of my Master Blogger credentials. What more can I say?
It seems that I have taken back my pole position on the Slippery Slope of Culinary Decline. At this rate I’ll be back to spending weeks at a time living on instant mashed potato and pizza from bins. On the plus side, I won’t have to work out how to format my food weblog.
I was hungry and I haven’t slept properly for ages, ok? I did cook the toast and butter it myself if that helps. It wasn’t my fault that there was an open tin on the side with some dregs of pink salmon in it and it really didn’t taste bad with mayonnaise and paprika.
Come to think of it, everything was just fine until I saw 2 cats staring up at me wondering why I was eating their supper. Bastards.
