The Information Superhighwayman

I am small and I don’t eat much…

Browsing Posts in Nothing in particular

Battle Of The Bathroom.

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As some of you may know, I have been having a bit of a problem with Mark Wahlberg lately. He has managed to get into my house and he is scuttling around and hiding out in the bathroom. Normally, I wouldn’t really mind but I am not sure why he is here, and it’s a […]

The Penis Mightier

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I received the best email in the world yesterday. It was even better than the Mr Chicken email which I lost years ago. This may require a short introduction to give you some context. I casually collect fountain pens; it’s not a serious collection and I don’t collect old ones. Mostly I just like to […]

When I was younger, thinner and more photogenic, I came home from a cellphone-free holiday in Scotland to find myself all over the newspapers being dubbed as “The Information Superhighwayman”. This was the start of the Harrods vs. Lawrie case which went on for a long time and due to my refusal to talk to […]


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It seems that I now have 59 of the PG-Tips monkeys. That doesn’t include Sidekick, the trusty little monkey of the same family who travels the world with me in the pocket of my rucksack. To get 59 monkeys, I have had to buy 9,440 tea bags at a cost of about 165 quid. The […]

Damned Yankees

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I am holding off on publishing the design for MICHAEL’S DEATH MACHINE for a few reasons. Firstly, I am still getting the safety systems for the prototype and secondly because I am not sure I should be responsible for the death of millions of bloggers. It would be a bit pointless having a blog taking […]

It seems that I have taken back my pole position on the Slippery Slope of Culinary Decline. At this rate I’ll be back to spending weeks at a time living on instant mashed potato and pizza from bins. On the plus side, I won’t have to work out how to format my food weblog. I […]

I just realised that I have been ignoring one of the most important rules of being a Master Blogger, that of starting postings with the word “So”. In American English I believe this is normally used as a way of saying “Me! Me! It’s my turn to speak and I am butting in. Listen to […]

Monday Morning, 8am.

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Well… Chavez is back as president of Venezuela, Pinochet is still on his deathbed and Britain is still a nuclear power. Kofi Annan is still saying that Iraq and a mess, and he wishes he’d done more and Hezbollah is still causing trouble in Lebanon (which oddly, is no longer called The Lebanon). America is […]

Lost in Time.

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What an odd couple of weeks this has been in England as far as Terrorism and Espionage is concerned. The first and most obvious event is this whole Alexander Litvinenko poisoning story. A former spy, poisoned by highly radioactive Polonium-210 hidden in his Sushi with a deathbead claim that it was the Russian President wot […]